By ABDULKAREEM, Alimat O.

Manners (Akhlaq) refer to a person’s character, manners, or morals, guiding a Muslim’s behavior and interactions with others.

Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries describe “manner” as a behaviour that is considered to be polite in a particular society or culture.

In all, MANNERS are a set of rules and behaviours that govern how we interact with others; they play an important role in building good relationships, enhancing respect, and creating a positive environment.

The world today is derailing significantly from the path shown by Allah through the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ). How many of us people have displaced the true measure of wealth, that is, good deeds, with worldly gain and lack of respect? Youths, not excluding elderly people, have surrendered to gathering worldly wealth over respect and only a few people truly understand the need to respect the young ones as they themselves demand (and not command) respect from them.

There are more than enough reasons to get angry easily these days. The unending news of murder, kidnapping, theft, and other social vices is a reason people have justified to defy respect. We now see younger and elderly ones arguing loudly over worldly matters neglecting the teachings of The Prophet ( ﷺ) on good manners.

The government is accused of bad governance, but what do we do as citizens to correct that, aside from the noise and public validation? As Muslims, we should not forget the teachings of the Prophet (ﷺ) about correcting a wrong thing with our mouths (politely, with good manners), hands, or the mind, which is the weakest of them. If we hold no power to unsheath our weapons of correction, how then are we helping the situation?

Allah says in the Holy Qur’an, 4:83:


وَإِذَا جَآءَهُمۡ أَمۡرࣱ مِّنَ ٱلۡأَمۡنِ أَوِ ٱلۡخَوۡفِ أَذَاعُواْ بِهِۦۖ وَلَوۡ رَدُّوهُ إِلَى ٱلرَّسُولِ وَإِلَىٰٓ أُوْلِي ٱلۡأَمۡرِ مِنۡهُمۡ لَعَلِمَهُ ٱلَّذِينَ يَسۡتَنۢبِطُونَهُۥ مِنۡهُمۡۗ وَلَوۡلَا فَضۡلُ ٱللَّهِ عَلَيۡكُمۡ وَرَحۡمَتُهُۥ لَٱتَّبَعۡتُمُ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنَ إِلَّا قَلِيلࣰا

And when there comes to them something [i.e., information] about [public] security or fear, they spread it around. But if they had referred it back to the Messenger or to those of authority among them, then the ones who can draw correct conclusions from it would have known about it. And if not for the favor of Allāh upon you and His mercy, you would have followed Satan, except for a few.


The verse above shows the importance of engaging solution-seeking communication and referring matters to knowledgeable leaders before going around with news we are not sure of its certainty.

This is even worse as Allah also says in the Holy Qur’an, 24:18 when He was referring to the issue of those who spread slander about The Mother of the Believers, Aa’ishah (رضي الله عنها):

إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يُحِبُّونَ أَن تَشِيعَ ٱلۡفَٰحِشَةُ فِي ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَهُمۡ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمࣱ فِي ٱلدُّنۡيَا وَٱلۡأٓخِرَةِۚ وَٱللَّهُ يَعۡلَمُ وَأَنتُمۡ لَا تَعۡلَمُونَ

Indeed, those who like that immorality should be spread [or publicized] among those who have believed will have a painful punishment in this world and the Hereafter. And Allah knows and you do not know.

Avoiding rumours and false information is a way of encouraging manners as it prevents the destruction of families, reputations, communities, and people’s trust in one another. We should always be mindful of the Hadith of the Prophet (ﷺ), which states to be mindful of our speech, that is, speaking goodness or remaining silent.

The Prophet (ﷺ) has the best of characters, as he was described as “a living Qur’an”. To show us that the Holy Qur’an is not just meant to move on our lips, or locked in our hearts, every lesson in it is to be lived to our maximum capacity. Since this has been reinstated, let us look into one of the popular stories that I am certain is known by many of us.

It is the story of one of the Ansaar who offered to host a man who visited The Prophet (ﷺ)about him being impoverished, and then, The Prophet (ﷺ) himself, through generosity, had nothing to offer that night. Despite this sahabah having just enough to feed his children, he chose generosity, and he persuaded his wife to put the children to bed hungry, while they both pretended to be eating in the darkness until the guest, who had no knowledge of this, ate until he was satisfied.

Allah revealed a verse in the Holy Qur’an, 59:9 to encourage and acknowledge their actions.

…وَيُؤْثِرُونَ عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ وَلَوْ كَانَ بِهِمْ خَصَاصَةٌ

…and they give them preference over themselves even though they needed that.

Extending positive behaviours is not and should not be limited to just humans, but to every one of Allah’s creation. Let us recall the story of a man who was revealed directly to The Prophet (ﷺ). The man who fed a thirsty dog with water using his footwear. The companions asked him whether they would be rewarded for showing kindness towards animals, and he replied, “Every creation, which needs to eat to survive, if it is dealt well (with kindness), (then the person) will be rewarded for being kind towards it. Kindness towards animals can also be extended to the way we feed them, reducing their workload (for farm/work animals), humane slaughtering, and avoiding using them for cruel games or entertainment.

Akhlaq (manners) is not limited to all we have discussed; it includes many more, like the etiquette of greeting, empathy (loving and caring for others as you do for yourself), modesty in speech, mind, and physical appearance, and self-improvement built towards getting better after sinning (repentance).

And, Allah knows best.

Displaying good manners is a way to gain unending rewards, favour, and blessings from Allah, bringing us closer to Allah as it increases our faith. Not just this, it also lays a foundation for a morally fair, peaceful, and flourishing community. Also, extending goodness to others is not just about other Muslims, but to people in general, our course mates, roommates, friends, and families.

And, before we go about complaining all the time, it is time we started taking real actions and ask ourselves, “What am I doing to contribute positively to society?”

May Allah, in His mercy and kindness, purify our hearts and perfect our characters. Grant us the strength and willingness to show good behaviors, forgive our shortcomings, and guide us to what pleases Him.

Subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bihamdika, ash-hadu allaa ilaaha illaa anta, astaghfiruka wa atuubu ilayk.