By Kaothar Salahudeen

Having a child outside wedlock is not a tradition that should be encouraged, rather females should be warned sternly to stay away from it. Often times, parents try their best to warn their girl-child against it, yet, there are still issues of unwanted pregnancies and the bizarre ways in which parents approach it. This write-up is neither to justify nor to support the grounds of unwanted pregnancy, but to be lenient with the lens we view the act.

When a girl gets pregnant when her hand has not been given in marriage, the pregnancy is considered to have brought shame to the family. She herself knows she has lost her dignity, but about 20% of ladies are lucky when they get engaged through the act and later get married or live a happy life after. The remaining 80% of ladies suffer for the act and they live with the pain till eternity. It might interest you to know that parents of the 80% of ladies contribute to this. They put salt on the wound and it should not be so because getting pregnant when you are not ready doesn’t mean one’s dream should be cut off. Though the the lady should suffer the pain for her blind actions but not till eternity.

Parents go a long way by sending the girl child packing out of their house or forcefully giving the girl’s hand into marriage . This action causes destruction because there is a saying that “having a child for you doesn’t mean I should marry you”. The phrase sounds somehow but it incurs a deep thinking. Having a child out of wedlock is totally bad even Almighty Allah condemns it in its entirety but that doesn’t mean when someone had done it, we should see the person as ungodly or stigmatize the person to the maximum. The act should be treated wisely and nicely, if not for anything but for the coming generation.

Sending a girl out of the house or sending her to her ‘husband’s house’ doesn’t solve the issue rather it worsens it. The girl-child becomes a mother and such children are not given the care and training they need because their mother wasn’t prepared before she becomes a mother. To put a stop to this, parents should allow the child in their house with the pregnancy, not that they should be pampering her but they should see it as parents’ responsibility in cushioning the effect of her mistake . The girl-child should be made to realize her mistakes and at the same time, she should be taking care of.

Unwanted pregnancy is detested by God because it is a sin , even the society detests it. But when we have such issue, it should be approached carefully. Doing this will help reduce the number of street children and vagabonds from broken homes who grew up to become hoodlums due to poor or absence of parental upbringing.